It is rightly said that anger can take hold of you and bang you against anything. It is like the unbridled ocean whose mighty waves can throw you like a stalk of grass. It can harm you physically or the person who triggered it in you. If it is confined or caged, it will become restless and if it is fed and nourished, it can become so strong that it will break the cage one day and then will destroy others. When it is exhausted, only then you will come to know the damage it had wreaked. Sometimes, the damage is irreparable and you will rue the time when this demon woke up and went beyond your control.
I feel like a ship floundering against the rocks. I feel that life has passed by and I stood standing watching it going by. By the time, I came to senses, everything was lost. The sparrows of time have eaten all the seeds in the field. Now standing like a vanquished soldier, I am ruing my fate.
Why did not I wake up when the grass was green? When there was ample time to try again and again to improvise. No I am trying to catch up the lost time but find shortage of time. I seemed to have entered the cul-de-sac. The street has become narrower and narrower and even retreat is not possible.
Sometimes, I become angry with me and feels entirely helpless. I want to hide in a corner and weep. Even being among my near and dears, I am alone and my mind holds on to shreds of the past happy moments. They are not many though, can be counted on fingers. I have miscalculated everything, I took for granted many things. I so much desire that foresight is a better gift than hindsight especially when you don’t have many options. But foresight is a commodity which is in short supply and God is very choosy in disbursing it.
I reposed my faith in wrong places and now repenting.
We all are slaves of desires. We employ every means to fulfill them. The desires are the root cause of all our banes. There is an endless list of desires with everyone of us. Some most common ones are money, comforts, good health, well being of children, easy life in office with work output to effort very large etc etc.
Man goes to temples, gurudwaras, Masjids, Churches, Synagogues, Dargahs and what not and always pesters the God incharges there to fulfill his desires. When one desire gets fulfilled, the list does not diminish but another one is added immediately.
But as we are aware that resources in the world are limited and everyone cannot hope to fulfill the desires. This causes the heart burning, depression, ill health and all the troubles. He sees to it and tries his best that if it is not possible to fulfill his desires, others also do not get their desires fulfilled.
Only one may be out of millions goes to God for killing his desires and that man becomes Mahapurush, the blessed person, above the materialistic pleasures. He becomes Mohammad, Nanak, Jesus and the like.
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
“LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you’d walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.”
The LORD replied:
“My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you,
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
What grows in hot and humid weather?. All kinds of vegetation, umpteen varieties of insects, bacteria, skin diseases, laziness, indolence, exhaustion, lizards, snakes, lust and…… lotus-eaters. Girls elope with boys and return like prodigals when the fever of lust subsides to wed and become wives and husbands, to begin the process of procreation, to slip down the mire, groaning under the weight of responsibilities to age prematurely.
Where does the tree of depression grow? What does it thrive on? What does it eat and drink?
It thrives on loneliness, on the jealousy, deprivation of sex; insecurity that the ship of destiny is marooned in the high seas.
Pisces is one of the Zodiac symbols. Each symbol, though apparently is connected to some animal as the Zodiac means, there are hidden religious meanings. During the Age of Pisces, the Fish was the symbol of divinity and the Sun God fed the multitude with two small fishes. The frontispiece of Inman’s Ancient Faiths shows the goddess Isis with a fish on her head; and the Indian Savior God, Krishna, in one of his incarnations was cast from the mouth of a fish.
Not only is Jesus often referred to as the Fisher of Men, but as John P. Lundy writes: “The word Fish is an abbreviation of this whole title, Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior, and Cross; or as St. Augustine expresses it, ‘If you join together the initial letters of the five Greek words, Ἰησοῦς Χριστος Θεου Υιὸσ Σωτήρ, which mean Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior, they will make ΙΧΘΥΣ, Fish, in which word Christ is mystically understood, because He was able to live in the abyss of this mortality as in the depth of waters, that is, without sin.'” (Monumental Christianity.) Many Christians observe Friday, which is sacred to the Virgin (Venus), upon which day they shall eat fish and not meat. The sign of the fish was one of the earliest symbols of Christianity; and when drawn upon the sand, it informed one Christian that another of the same faith was near.