Scale of data generated and used is astronomical in the internet. It becomes fruitless to figure out this on yearly, monthly even day basis. The scale is so mammoth that even 1 minute data will send your head spinning.
It has seriously long while, I have written something in the blog though have wrote many things on the Facebook. Every time, I opened my blog page, I thought of writing something but it seems that some unseen force is holding my hand. Also whatever I have written till date seems all very frivolous when I look back at it.
It is just to begin again, I am trying my hand. Sometimes, the life I am leading seems so purposeless. I ask myself is this what you call life. Sometimes feels like running away to somewhere where nary a soul knows me. All this requires crossing a barrier just like the chemical reactions the reactants have to gather enough energy from heat or other sources to overcome the summit of energy of activation. After this it is all downhill.
Meanwhile, I have almost finished the book “City of Djinns” by William Dalrymple. What a writer!. The book reveals such unknown facts about Delhi. I am very much happy that at last after so many days I have read one good book.
I read very slowly because I meditate too much over the prose. I am surprised to hear some friends saying that they have read such and such book during the flight of 2 hours or in a day. It must be an injustice to the author who God knows had spent so many days collecting the facts for writing the book. Let the book be read slowly, and it shall reveal the nuances much better.
Thank God I have returned again, I seem to be able to catching some words from the hordes which are flying thickly around the paper and placing them on the paper at last.
My interaction with people is very limited. More or less, I spend my days aimlessly when I am not in office. I generally rise up early in the morning. In fact I have at least 4 hours at my disposal before going to the office. I go out and walk for about 5 kilometers. Sometimes, I run short distances and do some exercises. Then after taking bath and breakfast, sit down watch some television and proceed to office.
Similarly, in the evening I return from home between six and seven. After coming back I take tea and then recline on the bed. I watch some television, sometimes the channel or a program of my choice but most of the time I don’t have any control over the remote. So I become a passive watcher because unless you are sleeping, it is not possible to shut your sensory organs like eyes and ears. Even if you are not watching, your ears will continue to acquire inputs in the form of audio signals.
I have become addicted to internet. Most of the time, I log on to “Facebook“, my mail and my blog to see the traffic. Sometimes I open the work related websites dealing with petroleum and other sciences.
By this time dinner is ready. I take it and afterwards read some book or again do some trash on the computer. It is then time to go to the bed.
When it is time to windup, I cajole myself and repent on how I have forgot to do things I had promised to do. Like undertaking some hobby like gardening which in addition to give us some exercise also gives us relaxation and a sense of fulfillment. Like this days and nights are walking past. I must make a resolve or otherwise days and nights shall slip through the fingers.
Becoming very successful and rising to top is human quest. Every manager, strives to rise above others. But as he progresses, he begins to become lonely in his social life. He becomes wedded to the enterprise he is involved with. A time comes when despite his wanting to he is not able to detach himself from his work. He brings home the office with him. His topics of discussions revolve around his work. Wife and children sulk but he is unaware as he is lost in some other world.
His work occupies his schedule. His family will try to find other avenues for diversion. Even then he does not stop them because he is physically with them yet thousands of miles apart from them. There is no separation from the work. He dreams about his progress and is frustrated by his competitors getting closer to him.
He puts a lot of trust in himself. He takes the things so seriously that after sometime even the trivial things become very serious in his scheme of things. He begins to take responsibilities solely upon himself spreading him too thinly. After some years he becomes tired and burnt out. He smokes and sits alone in the smoke clouds. No friends with whom to share his mind and relieve his tension. The faculty of speech and converse with each other had been developed by the human beings during evolution to survive and evolve as social creatures.
Surely, it is good to be at top but at the same time don’t let oneself to be prey to loneliness.
Loneliness is like an unseen demon which always hovers about in his office waiting for the right moment to seize him from behind. At the first opportunity it catches the victim.
If someone asks me to write again the article on same subject, I am almost certain I will not be able to reproduce it. My composition will change drastically.
I think this happens with persons who write using their heart, not with their heads. Heart is not as stable as the head. It controls the emotional part of our personalities. As the emotions depend upon the short term happenings, they tend not to be repetitive. Such persons can write fiction, poetry but not prose. Such person cannot be good managers.
May be if I had tried, I could have been a writer. But again, my interests cover not the narrow but broad spectrum. And this world, oh, it is so strange and weird, and life so short (it may be an excuse in my case, as I have already crossed 50 years of life), that I seem so helpless against the tide of time which with every passing day is becoming mightier and mightier and the day is not far when it will engulf me.