I feel like a ship floundering against the rocks. I feel that life has passed by and I stood standing watching it going by. I didn’t take the situation seriously. I was reluctant to make any efforts to turn the tide.
By the time, I came to senses, everything was lost. The sparrows of time have eaten all the seeds in the field. Now standing like a vanquished soldier, I am ruing my fate.
Why did not I wake up when the grass was green? When there was ample time to try again and again to improvise. No I am trying to catch up the lost time but find shortage of time. I seemed to have entered the cul-de-sac. The street has become narrower and narrower and even retreat is not possible.
Sometimes, I become angry with me and feels entirely helpless. I want to hide in a corner and weep. Even being among my near and dears, I am alone and my mind holds on to shreds of the past happy moments. They are not many though, can be counted on fingers. I have miscalculated everything, I took for granted many things. I so much desire that foresight is a better gift than hindsight especially when you don’t have many options. But foresight is a commodity which is in short supply and God is very choosy in disbursing it.
I reposed my faith in wrong places and now repenting.