You can win the battles against your opponents by forwarding arguments, emotional blackmail and beating breasts and crying but these battles do no good in the long run. This means that despite knowing that you are at fault you are not inclined to admit them. The greatest impediment in resolving the problem is lack of introspection. If we examine for a few minutes before going to bed what we have done or talked or what was our behavior towards other, was it justified really or was it the sheer refusal not to admit our faults, we can attain peace and serenity not only for ourselves but for those who we are fighting with.
Second most important fact is to possess the feeling of remorse and admit to the opponent that you were at fault but at the time anger and other negative feelings overpowered us, we can fill the opponent with a feeling of confidence and love. Otherwise the beast of mistrust will be rear its head again after few days. In the end either of us will be decimated other will be left as repentant fool.
Rajinder Singh Bedi was a big name in Indian Film industry. He belonged to the period when films were dominated by Urdu. North Indians were at the helm of Hindustani film industry. Almost all the heroes were from North and heroines from South and Bengal. Story dialogues were loaded with Persian words. I bet if most of Indians except from North India followed any of the dialogues. Even these days the humor shows make fun of those dialogues by trivializing them for simple and cheap babbling. They are not at fault either because those were the times when communication was not so fast and good and individual languages flowered uncontaminated. Today’s world is erasing many cultures and synthesizing a hybrid culture which belongs to and does not belong to anyone at the same time.
Bedi wrote the dialogues for many big league movies of the yore and produced many of them. But first of all, he was a Punjabi writer and wrote many novels. Of these was one called “Ik Chaddar Adhorani” which mirrored the Punjabi culture and society mores of that time in the villages of Punjab. There was a custom in those days according to which if the husband of a woman died, she married the younger brother of deceased in a ceremony in which she will put a white chaddar on his brother-in-law. This was done to keep the woman in the same family and provide protection to children from the first marriage. Otherwise her life was doomed. As can be assumed woman was forced into this alliance by the mother in laws.
The novel was turned into a movie which cast Hema malini as the woman whose husband is killed by suspecting brothers of a girl who was raped in an Inn attached to a temple. The Rano which was the central character played by Hema Malini was beaten by her husband daily as he came home inebriated after work. There is nothing surprising in such characters in rural areas. The women themselves begin to like this. After her husbands death she is forced to marry her brother in law whom previously she treated as her child because of his being 10 years younger. The pubescent daughter becomes very zealous of his mother and uncles marriage and even tries to end her life.
Hema malini herself described her role as most demanding and difficult. Everyone excelled in their roles be it Kulbhusan Kharbanda, as Hema Malini’s husband, Rishi Kapoor who played the younger brother of Kulbhushan Kharbanda and whose shoulders the responsibility of the widowed Hema Malini and her children falls , Hangal as blind father in law , the only one in the family who has soft corner towards the Hema but is helpless against his wife and Dina Pathak as the tormenting mother in law who blames her Bahu for every wrong happening to the family.
There is a galore of soap operas on Indian TV channels. Prime time is hogged by women dominated serials and so called reality shows. The women shows are of Saas Bahu variety. The reality shows are dance and singing competitions. The concerned families in the women operas are extraordinary kind and generally dominated by a matriarch who seems to run a kingdom according to laws which are extra constitutional. Their writ run large in the home as well as the village they live in. In fact, the whole village is under their mercy day and night. At home, they have some spoiled brats through which they suppress the Bahus who like cows. But these poor women are clothed in the designer wear. Even the hair of the maids shine like the shampoo ads. These serials are so interminable that basic nature of many characters undergoes metamorphosis. Villains become angels and vice versa. Age cannot alter a speck of their face. You cannot tell the difference between a Bahu and Saas in appearance. If you watch these serials in mute you cannot make out who is senior in age. Even Saas looks hotter than Bahus. The target audience is middle class women which don’t have much to do at home. They become hooked to the soaps. Many become so immured in the serials that begin to confuse between real life and reel life. Cable operators love these operas not because they watch them but because these ensure permanent customers. These viewers discuss the operas and which turn the story is going to take in the next episodes with their friends on phones. This way phone service providers are also happy. These women watch the repeat telecasts of the serials which they missed at night due to overlapping of the broadcasting. You cannot dare to take the remote control from them while they are watching the television.
And who are the victims? No prizes for guessing the answer right. Men…………