Peace Eludes My Mind

Peace, the most cherished of the human desires, eludes me. Day in and day out, I find myself in the labyrinth of thoughts from which there seems to be no escape. I am very poor at solving puzzles and always avoided and tried to find the easy ways out. But now the differentials of the neglect have become gathering into indefinite integrals and it seems that confounding solution is near. The drops have collected to become dam and dikes are becoming weaker and any time will give way. The dam will burst.

Most of the time, I am repenting on the lost time. It seemed to me that I have been a wastrel of time all these years. Other people feel like me, I doubt. But I now strongly realize that I have not utelized my potential. I have never let it convert into kinetic form and achieve somethings. I seem to feel defeated. I try to pick up the gaunlet but soon relaize the stamina is not there to translate. May be I am not so much of a failure as I think myself to be, yet I an sure I could have done much. Now, I remember the lines of song written by Neeraj, saying that I had stood watching and opportunities, bliss and happiness had passed at nearby distance. I have been a onlooker, I never tried to catch the butterflies hovering over the flowers, or fireflies in the night.

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Gathering Clouds

Since last few days, in the morning, there is a meeting of clouds in the heavens. They seem to be discussing how and when they will be visiting the parched & thirsty earth. Earth is looking upwards and pleading with Gods to send rains to cool its hot body and lessen the fury of Sun. Clouds disperse after sometimes and go somewhere where no one can see them whole day. Earth has to wait for sometime yet.

But daily, it seems that more and more clouds are attending the meeting. Sometimes, they can be seen in the odd hours as if they are surveying from above and doing recces of the earth from above. It is not far when they will visit the earth and then they will be visiting without relenting. Though earth will be happy to embrace them and hug them, the humans will be suffering from too much of water.

The people in Mumbai have become traumatic after suffering from the deluge in 2005. Whenever there is possibility of pairing of high tide in the sea with monster cloud columns in the sky, the people become restless from fear of remembering that day and possibility of repetition. People lost their belongings, their kith and kin and suffered from many diseases.

All this is happening due to the greed of builders and politicians. Actually why people become attached to inaction against them is that in nature things do not happen overnight. The malady continues to grow slowly and a break point comes when it can no longer able to contain itself, then there is havoc everywhere. The harvests sown by previous generations have to be reaped by the present generations and this cycle continues.

So, on one hand, we long for rains. We long for drenching in the rains without caring for our clothes clinging to our wet bodies and revealing our bodies. The children frolic in the rains. Whole nature is bathed and seems nattier. Green color engulfs every corner of the earth. Frogs make incessant croaking, calling their mates. Birds awash in the rain, cling to the tottering twigs of the trees.Poets write the poetry to describe the condition of  lovelorn lovers and send their messages of love by the cloud messengers.

At the same, we become afraid of the excess water falling on the earth and inundating our homes and destroying our hard earned belongings. Everywhere, everything drips. Clothes drips, roofs drips, life drips. Everybody desires an ideal amount or optimum amount of rains but due to our bad treatment to nature, our excessive tinkering with the natural pathways of the water drainage, the nature teaches us all lessons and punishes us for torturing the earth, the mother, which sustains and nourishes us. This is another matter that it does not distinguish between the evil doers and innocents, it decides on the merit of collective responsibility.

After Amaltas it is the turn of Gulmohars

Though golden blooms on Amaltas (cassia fistula) trees have begun to fade, they are still hanging there. The flowers are loosing their hue steadily and once where only flowers were hanging all over the trees, thick green foliage has begun to appear on the trees. Perhaps, they are feeling too much heat and are unable to withstand it and are withering away. I have pictures of them when they were in full glory. Below is the one.

amaltash

So, you can see the beauty of the nature, expressed in the golden flowers of Amaltas tree. But alas! now it is almost gone. They are presently in the decline and destruction. “From dust unto dust”.

What if they are now waning? Another tree is now in full bloom. It is called “Gulmohar” in India. The flowers are bold red and it seems that there is fire of red colour raging. They are complementing the torrid heat of the season. Here are some pictures which I took only today. These trees are locating in our colony. They are very majestic and deep green with flowers dominating them these days.

gul-3

gul-4

Enjoy this color of the nature also. We should not wait and watch because by the time you will be waiting, this will pass to dust like everything else. The cycle of death and life goes on eternally. They are like two serpents which have caught hold the other by the tail end like the carbons in benzene dreamed once upon by Kekule.

Peace is illusion

You don’t have to look anywhere outside for the peace of mind. You have to look inwards, within you, to diagnose what is causing the problem. Most of the times, we are aware of the reasons causing the heart burns, yet we are deceiving ourselves by avoiding the real causes and alleviate the problems. Things are not in our control many times. Heart does not forget the moments of bliss even trifles for that matter. It seems like an oasis in the otherwise desert of unhappiness and wants to cling on to it. But there are others who forget the things very easily. They are really blessed otherwise the events from the past will haunt you and gnaw at your heart.

To be happy or blissful, I think it is necessary not to try to learn much. Simple folks are really happy. The more you read, more you see, hear and talk, the more the garbage is collected in your brain. There are so many seams of the events and it is not easy to fetch or recall easily. The events jostle for attention in such mind like the passengers crammed inside a local train compartment.